Friday, 15 July 2016

Ethics Crisis in Sport - now Moorfoot Runners to be investigated

The club is to be investigated by the Athletics Ethics and Integrity Official Unit (AEIOU) of the Union of Sporting Ethics Lawyers – East of Scotland Section (USELESS), following accusations of possible corruption and prize-fixing at the St Ronan’s Games Week Fancy Dress competition on Thursday evening.

But underhand collusion between two club committee members has been denied amidst rumours that a deal was done by Fancy Dress Judge Gregor Nicholson for a share of the £4 prize money for the Special Prize he awarded in the Groups category to “The Jungle Book”, fronted by club secretary Colin Williams as King Louie.

“I didn’t even know it was him”, claimed Nicholson, “so good was his outfit, make-up and belly”.
“In fact, when he winked at and said to my fellow judge Mrs Nicholson that he was the King of the Swingers, I nearly smacked him one.”

Asked if the offer from a slinky looking Shere Khan-ess to get her claws into him had impaired his impartiality, Nicholson blushed and clammed up.

A spokesperson of the AEIOU of USELESS said, “We are taking these accusations very seriously and will be compiling a report for the IAAF Ethics and Integrity Unit who have put on hold all other investigations, including those into doping in Russia, until our own is concluded. There is no place for this sort of corruption in the sporting field.”

Asked whether he thought Mr Kipling would be turning in his grave at being associated with such accusations of prize-fixing, club secretary Colin Williams said ”I categorically deny that there was any offer on the table to provide the judges with exceedingly good cakes.”

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