The club is to be investigated by the Athletics Ethics
and Integrity Official Unit (AEIOU) of the Union of Sporting Ethics Lawyers –
East of Scotland Section (USELESS), following accusations of possible corruption
and prize-fixing at the St Ronan’s Games Week Fancy Dress competition on
Thursday evening.
But underhand collusion between two club committee
members has been denied amidst rumours that a deal was done by Fancy Dress Judge
Gregor Nicholson for a share of the £4 prize money for the Special Prize he
awarded in the Groups category to “The Jungle Book”, fronted by club secretary
Colin Williams as King Louie.
“I didn’t even know it was him”, claimed Nicholson, “so
good was his outfit, make-up and belly”.
“In fact, when he winked at and said to my fellow judge
Mrs Nicholson that he was the King of the Swingers, I nearly smacked him one.”
Asked if the offer from a slinky looking Shere Khan-ess
to get her claws into him had impaired his impartiality, Nicholson blushed and
clammed up.
A spokesperson of the AEIOU of USELESS said, “We are
taking these accusations very seriously and will be compiling a report for the
IAAF Ethics and Integrity Unit who have put on hold all other investigations,
including those into doping in Russia, until our own is concluded. There is no
place for this sort of corruption in the sporting field.”
Asked whether he thought Mr Kipling would be turning in
his grave at being associated with such accusations of prize-fixing, club
secretary Colin Williams said ”I categorically deny that there was any offer on
the table to provide the judges with exceedingly good cakes.”
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